More and more, people are turning to other customers to find out where they should eat, where they should get their hair cut, and even where they should get lap dances. When you’re planning your trip to Vegas, reading strip club reviews can provide countless hours of entertainment and plenty of laughs along the way.
Here are some of our favorite strip club reviews decoded. The names have been changed to protect the inebriated.
Spearmint Rhino
Lisa
tried to charge $ 800.00 to my son’s credit card. a scam
Translation: I’m a helicopter parent and can’t accept that my son is an adult and not only frequents strip clubs, but is able to handle his own finances, however poorly he is doing so.
Simon
Wow, the strippers are so ugly there. Couple of them are transvestites, be careful cause they`ll try and stab you in the back and take your money.
Find a better place.
Translation: None of the girls would go home with me, so I have to tell myself that they were all ugly and I didn’t really want any of them, anyways.
Brad
If I wanted a woman who was naggy, money hungry and gives lackluster sexual performances, I’d just get married.
Translation: I expected a dancer to be so impressed with how hot I believe I am that she would not only volunteer to dance for me for free, but would also want to go home with me. The reason I’m not married is because of my terrible attitude that no one wants to put up with. On the off chance that I do get a date now and then, it doesn’t take long for a woman to run as soon as she gets to know me.
Sapphire
Adam
*BEWARE* Purchased one of the VIP services with bottle service for myself and a few friends. At the club nobody was around to show us to our table, had to ask around for 15 mins until they figured it out. After a few rounds of drinks the dancers brought us to the back room and basically charged whatever they wanted on my debit card. Besides that, we each had over $600 in cash stolen from our pockets and didn’t realize it until after leaving. The girls are basically huge schemers and only care about making/stealing as much money as possible. Biggest waste of money ever. This club was the only bad part of our trip to Vegas when it was supposed to be one of the best. We will never be back and would recommend avoiding at all costs.
Translation:
My friends drank the two bottles and went home drunk. I spent a lot of money and was too drunk to remember spending it, so, instead of facing the reality that I can’t manage my finances if I have a little liquor in me, my brain convinced me that the dancers stole my money in an attempt to protect my delicate psyche from the truth.
James
Complete rip off I booked a VIP party, the girls over charged us. I went to get a private dance when I returned to our table all our bottles were gone and 2 of my friends were kicked out. When I asked management what happened they kicked me out.
Translation: I was drunk and disorderly. I was trying to grab dancers, despite the fact they told me I couldn’t touch. When they told the bouncers, I got irate and disrespectful. They kicked me out.
A.J.
Wallet got finessed. Everything gone. Messed up my trip to say the least. Girl was working with security. I noticed something had happened she said security and I was outside. Guy told me I was being loud.
Translation: I was too drunk to remember going to the champagne room.
Joel
BEWARE! They Roofie you. One of the strippers forced me to drink a drink that I later realized she had put rohypnol the date rape drug in and she then tried to increasingly aggressively to make me go to the back room with her so she could take all of my money. Luckily I was with a group of my brothers and managed to tell one of them that she had drugged me before I became fully unconscious and they got me out of the situation. I would not suggest going here ever, especially not alone. The other strippers totally knew what was going on.
Translation: I got more drunk than intended.
Steve
Paid for going all the way but basically got nothing for the hundreds I paid.
Translation: I had the unrealistic expectation that the champagne room was for sex, even though it’s completely illegal.
We couldn’t stop laughing when we were reading the reviews of our favorite strip clubs. What we did learn from the reviews is that you shouldn’t spend hundreds or thousands of dollars at a strip club if you are going to get so drunk you don’t even remember the experience. Have fun with your boys, but make sure it’s a night you remember, or you’ll have wasted your money.
